about “my harborcoat”

i had a friend named Shaun. he died and i miss him.

his death holds so many unanswered questions about his life for the simple fact that he chose to end it. 

living in the countryside (Tanumshede, Sweden), far from home (Seattle? Portland? Las Vegas? USA) i don’t often get to talk with anyone who knew Shaun. On top of that, the circumstances of his death, far away from most of the people who knew him, never allowed for any real dialogue of grief, rage, sorrow, guilt, regret  – the telling of stories – really the stuff that helps the living manage the enormity of the silence and the loss.

So since i know i’m not alone in this, i thought maybe i’d share stuff i remember about him. Actually the idea to collect stories about Shaun came from Emily, a dear friend of Shaun and i and undeniably his last confidant.  I need to talk about him because he meant something to me and his death means something and i don’t want to not talk about him because i think about him all the time and sometimes the unanswered questions gnaw because there will never be an answer to “What if?”.  this is probably a good time to start because memory begins to be a tricky little shit as you get older. 

So i dedicate this space (here in the digital ether) to the memory of Shaun, and to those who knew him and i hope that others will add their recollections or thoughts here as well. The name comes from the song Harborcoat  by R.E.M., which was a song he loved and one of many i learned the chords to so that he could learn and enjoy them too.

This space is perhaps a meek memorial now, but i dedicate it to those who have shared their thoughts, laughter and grief with me: Emily, Rose, Michelle, Loretta, Sloan, Lee

Please feel free to contribute your stories and pictures.